Batman's View

A brief reprise...

2011-08-13T10:22:00.003-06:00

Oh the landslide of activities, adventures, and ass-tastic ordeals that have happened since our "rockstar" was thrown into our structured lives. Slow and steady... Here's one of the things you missed. Yes - he was a complete idiot without any situational awareness, yes it did cause tramatic injury to my jugular and a migraine just short of justice, and of course I toughed it out... after visiting the golf course outhouse and resuming the fetal position while my eyes leaked man water...

2011-02-21T06:51:00.000-07:00

...test...test...check 1-2...test 1-2-3-4...is this thing on...

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2009-10-28T08:14:00.000-06:00

Dad goes back to work :C

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2009-10-25T10:28:00.000-06:00

Mini Pope.

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2009-10-25T10:12:00.000-06:00

Brynna was initiated into the Russian mafia today.

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2009-10-23T15:34:00.000-06:00

On our way home!

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2009-10-23T13:32:00.000-06:00

Getting ready to go home.

FIL & MIL Woes!

2009-10-23T09:41:00.002-06:00

Okay vent on... My MIL and FIL (is that right?) are about to experience some vigilante RAGE! Stop the insanity... the crazy... the uncomfortable silence... the endless advice. I already had a coming to Jesus meeting with my parents so they are behaving. We'll be leaving in a few hours.

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2009-10-23T07:41:00.000-06:00

Tired of Mom's boob... Brynna goes for the toes!

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2009-10-22T16:59:00.000-06:00

Caught Beemer sleeping... Now who is not doing her job?

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2009-10-22T07:09:00.000-06:00

I snuck a pic of Dad sleeping on the job.

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2009-10-21T18:43:00.000-06:00

Here's Brynna!

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2009-10-21T16:06:00.000-06:00

It's a healthy baby girl! Welcome Brynna MaeLynn Walker. 7lbs 13oz ... 19 1/2 inches.

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2009-10-21T12:38:00.000-06:00

5cm and everything is looking great. They're expecting another few hours. :-)

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2009-10-21T11:37:00.000-06:00

T's Mom and Dad... Here from Seattle finally made it.

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2009-10-21T10:20:00.000-06:00

Batman's parents rocking a visit during phase 1.

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2009-10-21T09:42:00.001-06:00

It's time for some bouncy ball! (Updates must be approved by the boss before posting.)

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2009-10-21T09:03:00.000-06:00

Water broke... Here's the graph status.

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2009-10-21T07:34:00.000-06:00

It's GO Time!!!

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2009-10-20T11:45:00.000-06:00

Here's Momma... We are having our last lunch without lil' Beemer!

2009-10-20T10:21:00.001-06:00

We'll be delivering this evening or tomorrow morning. (Most likely option 2.) Thanks for your support and prayers.

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2009-10-20T09:57:00.000-06:00

We're at the doctors... Trying to figure out if we need to induce today. *Gulp* Here goes "everything!"

Hospital Update!!!

2009-10-11T16:44:00.007-06:00

We haven't left for the hospital yet. Soon - I hope at least. We even tried recreating my birth today. Gross! No-no-no not like that... My parents went out to IHOP the morning that I was delivered. They took T and I out to IHOP this morning. (Which btw the new franchise owners no longer give military members a discount - so we will be boycotting them until the Anti-Christ comes.)

While we are waiting for BMW to make her grand entrance, I thought you might enjoy a little story. While I'm not serving in the military - I rock a civilian job titled "Marketing Manager" of a service line in a local hospital. Friday, they e-mailed the staff stating that we either got a H1N1 flu vaccine or we would be forced to wear surgical masks until the month of April. As you can imagine this announcement did not make great headway among any of the staff. Regardless of political stature or bent - forcing anyone to get an untested vaccine seems borderline monarchical.

Here's the printed risks from the H1N1 vaccine (taken from the actual Department of Health and Human Services flier:

What are the risks from 2009 H1N1 LAIV?
A vaccine, like any medicine, could cause a serious problem, such as a severe allergic reaction. But the risk of any vaccine causing serious harm, or death, is extremely small. The risks from 2009 H1N1 LAIV are expected to be similar to those from seasonal LAIV:

Mild problems:
Some children and adolescents 2-17 years of age have
reported mild reactions, including:
• runny nose, nasal congestion or cough • fever
• headache and muscle aches • wheezing
• abdominal pain or occasional vomiting or diarrhea
Some adults 18-49 years of age have reported:
• runny nose or nasal congestion • sore throat
• cough, chills, tiredness/weakness • headache

Severe problems:
• Life-threatening allergic reactions to vaccines are very
rare. If they do occur, it is usually within a few minutes
to a few hours after the vaccination.
• Any unusual condition, such as a high fever or behavior
changes. Signs of a severe allergic reaction can include
difficulty breathing, hoarseness or wheezing, hives, paleness,
weakness, a fast heart beat or dizziness.

It's a tough choice - get the vaccine and possibly suffer with symptoms worse than the flu or just suffer with the flu if I happen to be lucky enough to encounter the virus. I'll be wearing this to work:

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2009-10-07T15:20:00.000-06:00

We're in the final stretch folks. Check out the hot mommy! There's just something sexy about a woman carrying my child. :-)

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2009-10-07T09:56:00.000-06:00

What's this? Initials of some kind... Hr
mmmm? (mobile image test)

2009-10-07T09:06:00.001-06:00

Test 2

2009-10-07T08:49:00.001-06:00

This is a test to make sure we can make updates from the delivery room.

Don't Ever Start... Ever!!!

2009-06-30T14:01:00.004-06:00

Against the law... no, but I made a vow. I made a vow to my unborn daughter that I would not partake in this satisfying, glorious, sultry sin while my "lil Beemer" graced me with her presence here on earth. I should have done it years ago. It wasn't like a pack or two a day... it was more like a sip of gin - just a taste and then I was good for a while. The military didn't help. It's easy to judge, but when you've seen "stuff"... having vices isn't the worse way to cope. Yah, so I made a vow...

Now? I'm sick - sore throat and headache, sinus pressure and dizziness. I think these are called withdrawal symptoms? Blah... nothing should be this bad. I had to share though - for accountability. Though I've tried many - many - many times before I think this time is it. Because after all... if I break my vow to my daughter what kind of a father would I be? A worthless sack of... yah, you get it. Not this one though - it might be hell, but I'll get through this. I just need a hug and a bottle of ibuprofen.

Quick Fix

2009-06-22T11:09:00.005-06:00

Catch up and run down:

Incoming Baby: Lil' Beemer - you'll see...
Officer's Position: I'm not sure if I could hurry and wait any longer!
School - Certification and Master's included: So much better than my TV remote in which they "included batteries" but absently forgot to leave them in the package.
Weddings - Showers - Parties: I've recently learned to sh#t gold. True story!
Poverty: I'm so glad Joe the Plumber is making a fortune. I'll be taking a bit of his hard-earned money soon. Pray for your souls... sigh... the Antichrist cometh!
Success: There's only one thing in my life that I've never failed at - loving my wife! (Booyah - I'll be getting a little thank you tonight. *Wink*)

I had to force myself to do this - but it's getting easier again. I really think our news of getting pregnant threw all of my writing ambitions out the window. New focus! It's survival of the fittest at this point... it's a good thing I know how to bury a man 34 different ways and yet I have no idea how to change a diaper.

Guess what?

2009-05-23T07:35:00.003-06:00

I'm back!

Whale Spit and Bruises - WHAT?

2009-02-02T11:19:00.005-07:00

Imagine with me, if you will, a Thursday night... 3 dudes - 2 pots of coffee - a couple bibles and enough satire to drown a small nation. That was the first bible study I had been to in close to 10 years! I'm sure you can understand my pessimism and sceptical mind frame. What started as a regurgitation of scripture reference ended up with me on my knees with a huge bruise across my face. WHAT?

First off, I sometimes see myself as a modern day Jonah. The first 2 and 1/2 years in college I was a youth ministry major. BS-Corruption and politics changed my ideals and I popped the bubble of Christianity Comfort and I became a real person. A person that wasn't necessarily someone that I admired, but real nonetheless. (There's volumes of novels here to catch you up to today, but let us fast forward anyway.)

We decided to read John. First words Jesus says, "What do you want?" That's a great question... and I have 1000 different answers. -new house, -new job, -kids, -master's degree, officer slot, $ bling $, no debt, health, happiness, vacation, etc. (More volumes here.) Great so now I've just asked for everything I've ever wanted and more. His response, "Come and you will see... Follow me." WHAT?

For the last 10 years of my life I've been so hung up on the superficial, the outside, the activities and the materialism of life. I've allowed others to dictate my direction, motivation, push, etc. Everyone from my wife to my parents, friends and family... they've all had a stamped expectation on my life that I was falling short of and that in turn caused my relationship with God to stumble beyond anything that I could have imagined. Their fault? No... mine.

"Come and Follow me." Hrmmmph? Simple enough. What do I have to lose... nothing at this point. We'll get to my insecurities, faults, sins, at some point... but for now I think it's time for me just to move. First step and then another... did you see that? Yep... my foot just knocked some dust off the ground. BOOM!

So 3 dudes, 2 pots of coffee, and a God that decided he was going to beat the crap out me with simplicity and common sense. <--explains the bruise. Great evening... in fact is was enlightening... no, better yet, let's just say I'm wiping whale spit off my face!

Pictures!

2009-01-20T13:51:00.027-07:00

Just wanted to drop a few funny pictures that impacted my laughter sensor this past week...

Honest to God himself... this is how we found Santa and Mrs. Clause in the box when we pulled them out for our holiday season. Funny thing is... no one noticed them. We had the whole family over and nothing.

This has become somewhat of a motivational poster for me. Not only is Michael Phelps an amazing star in his own right, but also because my swimmers seem to be going around and around and around in circles. They need a swim coach. If you happen to know a sperm - swim coach - pass me their number will you?

<--Haha... humor that hurts. I was complaining about the pain I've been in lately from P90X. I read this and went... okay the last 8 nights of crying myself to sleep have been worth it.

Day 1 - COME GET SOME!

2009-01-12T09:36:00.007-07:00

So this year I'm swimming against the current and not rolling out any New Year's resolutions. I found in the past... if I had a goal I was sure to fail and then throw in the towel with a big, "F-THAT!" Now... remember me talking to you about the Life Changing books there on the right? See, that was a long time ago so when I talk about what is going on - you'll be able to differentiate between a New Year's resolution and something I've been actively participating with in the past.

P90X <---I'm not going to bore you with the explanation, but if you are interested please check out THIS! It's starting today. I'm also not going to show you my before picture... yet. There will come a time! Am I fat? Obese? Embarrassed? I carry my weight well. Most people think I'm "too-thin", but the American Standard on thin is anything less than 350 lbs. So... I'm going to be working out. and ROCKING IT! I'm sure I'll mentioned it in the next 90 days, but don't expect this blog to become a workout journal of boredom.

Oh and one more thing. Read this book:

If you thought my other nutritional book was inspiring just wait till you get a load of this.

Try - Try - Again...

2009-01-09T09:26:00.003-07:00

I don't ever want to have to apologize for speaking too soon about any type of "mishap" in life, but alas it might just be the case this time around. Soon after our great news of new life... our little egg decided he/she was not going to stick where it was suppose to. To all you mothers and those trying to be, my heart goes out to you and I sincerely wish I could hug every one of you. T's sends her warm-wishings and thanks you all for your support, care, and love. On the positive side we made it further this time around than we have since Gabriel - it seems like things are starting to have a feel of normalcy. A great-unknown-cliche-writer once said:

If at first you don't succeed... well isn't that the best part of trying to have a baby? ;)

Worst Christmas EVER!!! (Part Three)

2009-01-01T14:22:00.011-07:00

Home at last and went went straight to bed. It wasn't much longer that the morning rolled around and T woke to start her morning rituals. (I have to admit... being a dude is a fantastic thing. When we get up: we shower, shave, toss some gel in the threads, and press on with our day.) T jumps in the shower, starts the half hour makeup process, and then proceeds to engage her hair with a heat gun. Now mind you, I'm sleeping peacefully dreaming of sugar plums and half naked fairies during all this fiasco. zzzz zzzz BOOM! "Honey-Honey you have to wake up! I can't drive... I'm so tired! Wake up... you have to take me to work to get your jeep. Sooo tired! WAKE UP!" <--That's T here screaming at me to wake up because for some reason she can't seem to keep her eyes open. Poof... the fairies are gone and I calmly look up at her, say no I'm sleeping, and roll back over into my winter slumber land.

I know - I know... you are all thinking I'm an ass, but much to T's surprise she finally glances over at the clock in the bedroom. Time? 1:30 am. HAHA!!! She had dreamed that her alarm went off and then jumped out of bed thinking that she had slept through it. I can't imagine what it was like trying to soap up, put on makeup, and dry your hair with 2 or so hours of sleep. Knowing myself... I probably would have ended up looking something like this:
T went back to bed. And it's a good thing too because the real alarm was set to go off 4 hours later.

Around 6:30ish am we leave the house head back to PARKING GARAGE B. T lets me off at the jeep and I follow her back down to the exit of the garage. We stop at the attendant's shack expecting there to be someone available to let us out of the garage. Here's the attendant's reasoning... it's 7:00 am and all the people using the garage are coming into work, not leaving. So who knows where he is. I slightly chuckled to myself thinking that we were due for another day of hell and misery. T on the other hand had transformed in the she-demon and began honking her horn uncontrollably. We're not talking a slight tap of the horn here... we're talking a massive orchestra of horn-orgy-eruption! I think she ended up pissing off the entire block of downtown. Someone, not the garage attendant, showed up and asked her if he went to look for the attendant, if she would give the symphony a reprise. She agreed and 5 minutes later the man of the hour showed his sheepish face.

The parking attendant was of no petite size. If fact quite the opposite. So much "in fact" he could not fit in between T's car and the garage shack to get inside to unlock the gate arm. Amused, I started giggling again then exploded in tears when the attendant laid across T's car and "honest to god" inch wormed his way over the hood to get into the shack. You should have seen T's face! OMG... hell hath no fury like a woman who has had to wait 10 minutes in a locked parking garage. Through my tears I was able to text T and say, "Hahaha... he's laying on your car." Her response, "F-you!" After another 5 minutes of aerobic wiggling he finally managed to open the gate arm to let her out.

As I pulled up... I was still laughing. He must have been embarrassed, because he grabbed my ticket-opened the arm-and told me to get the hell out of there. Which I obliged him and went my merry way. ($25.00 richer!)

And this concludes the the Worst Christmas EVER!!! It doesn't seem real... in fact I knew I had to write it down, because I wouldn't have believed it myself if I didn't have the opportunity to experience it first hand. We sure had a horrible day. Christmas day... I was sick and now T is just starting to feel a little better from the virus I gave her as another present (besides the new car engine that is).

Moral of the story? You might have a horrible Christmas, but I guarantee you that New Year's is a hell of a lot better. Guess what?

I'm a going to be daddy!

Worst Christmas EVER!!! (Part Two)

2008-12-31T09:35:00.021-07:00

If you haven't read the previous post you are going to have to in order to understand the following chaos. So where was I? Oh yes... T was still 2nd in line and I just returned from my 3 near death experiences. I grabbed T out of the line and "calmly" retold the horrifying adventure that had just taken place. It's here where a husband would like just a touch of sympathy... (I mean it's not every day that you almost get your face run over) instead the she-demon laughed at my ill-demise until I could only muster a slight grin and mumble of, "We need to stay here and shop... closed store... mmm, grrr, mmph."

As we journeyed into the women's clothing section T stumbled upon a beautiful sweater for her mother. Great! One gift down. As we journeyed further into the women's clothing section T, actually, physically stumbled into a display rack creating an avalanche of clothing everywhere almost burying the both of us alive. It was at this point where I was able to summon my he-demon and return the favor of laughter back at my lovely wife. All was not lost though... from out of the ruble a customer service representative appeared (Of course more worried about a lawsuit from us than the act of servitude) and helped us find a gift for my mother. Gifts = done and we had about $40.00 left on our BODO gift cards.

$40.00! Goodness, quite the steal if you ask me. Yes, we decided to spend a little on ourselves, because we had earned it. To the left you'll see one of our favorite restaurants: P.F. Chang's. It was there we decided to spend the rest of our gift money. So we left Macy's and headed back to my jeep that we had parked into Parking Garage B. Remember from the previous post about it being 14 degrees outside. It was freaking butt-ass cold! Imagine our surprise when the parking garage elevators wouldn't open. Imagine how shocking it was to find that the elevators weren't even operational. Now imagine us walking to the front of the parking garage only to find that they had steel-bar gated the entrance CLOSING THE DAMN GARAGE!!! Sign read: Garage open 7:00 am to 7:00 pm. For after hour vehicle removal a fee of $25.00 will be assessed. Guess what time we got to the garage? 7 - 0 - Fin' 5! (7:05 pm)

FANTASTIC!

With arms full and the arrival of both the he and she-demons, we decided to save the $25.00 and walk back to T's car at Parking Garage A. 12 blocks of freeze-your-balls-off weather of justice! It wasn't just cold... I think we both had early stages of frost bite by the time we found her car. (Which just happened to be on the top of an outdoor garage. Which happened to also have it's elevators out of commission. Which happened to mean we both had to walk to the top of the garage NOT using stairs. ARGHHHHH!) Car found... heat on... teeth chattering... "W-w-want to g-go to P.-P.-F. Ch-Chang's?"

We left Parking Garage A and headed to P.F. Chang's which was right next to Parking Garage C. <--Open 24 hours for those of you worried about us losing another car to the 5 minute thief. To our surprise, as we entered the garage, they wanted cash only. Well F! We only had our gift cards. So we proceeded to cause a traffic jam right in the middle of downtown due to having to pull a u-turn at the entrance of the garage. I don't think I have ever been blessed with the amount of free gifts of middle-fingers and flowery language like I was that night. We made it out and went to find parking on the street. First pass and 10 minutes later... nothing. Second pass and another 10 minutes... we found a spot. We secured the car, ran to the door of P.F. Chang's, and then the hostess bitch-slapped the hell out of us by letting us know of the 40 minute wait.

T looks at me and in her nice she-demon voice says, "You have to be Fin' kidding me." I'm telling you heads turned and every patron inside rubber-necked right to our location. We left. On the way home we decided to just grab a take home pizza from one of the local pizzerias. We arrived there with high hopes. With a night like we had experienced a pizza was the only thing that was going to help with the loss of sanity. We pulled up at 8:05 pm. Guess what time they closed? *@#*!*#& !*@&!*@ !@*&!@*&! !@*&!*# !*#&@* (8:00 pm.)

It's not over folks, but my fingers are bleeding again. Stay tuned... same bat-channel, same bat-time for tomorrow's conclusion of the Worst Christmas EVER!!! (Part Three)

Worst Christmas EVER!!!

2008-12-30T09:49:00.027-07:00

You'll notice the three "!!!" and think... "Oh come on, it can't possibly be that bad?" Well, sit back and enjoy as I try to piece this Christmas weekend out for you word by word. Hopefully, you'll walk away with a bit of the giggles and less of the RAGE that I felt. (Please note that I'm just now getting over my sinus infection that started a few days before Christmas and T is home sick - in bed - puking her guts out.)

Flashback: It's the 17th of December and we have exactly 8 days until the magic of Christmas showers us with joy and happiness. It's also 14 degrees outside and there is a slight shimmering of snow- ice on the ground. So T and I won $200.00 this year at my company Christmas Party. (Now granted I planned it so... you better believe it was a rip-roaring time.) And yes it is true... if you wear wigs your life is better. My hair is on fire! BOOM.

Okay so we had to spend our $200.00 at BODO since that was the form of "cash" we received. This was a blessing though because of the tragedy that recently befell us a few days before. (Our Honda engine exploded... long story, but we ended up having to buy a new one and our Christmas funds we had to spend on gifts were depleted. In fact I gave T half of the engine for her gift this year... and guess what I got? The Fin' timing belt. *sigh*) So we had the $200.00 to stretch across both our families. Allow me to begin the story...

I arrived at T's place of work and met her in Parking Garage A. I had packed my Jeep up that day prior to the arrival to better ensure my success at work the next day. I had tins, papers, etc. stacked to the ceiling of the cab. T, not seeing the massive amount of "justice", flipped up the seat and was buried alive. (It's a good thing I know so many survival skillz. I barely survived the transformation of T into the female she-demon she erupted into after she caused that unfortunate incident.) After a good 5 minutes of me begging for my family jewels back, we headed out of the lot toward Parking Garage B (12 blocks toward the center of downtown).

What was so great about Parking Garage B was that it was centered in the mix of all the shops we wanted to make our purchases from. Boy were we surprised to find an open space on the 2nd floor. "Our lucky day," I thought. Actually, I was more excited about not having to walk as much due to the unkindly family jewel incident mentioned before. We took our ticket and headed down toward the street. First shop... some game store. Not video games... but authentic board games from Germany and Japan, you know real games that take more than rolling a pair of dice and praying you land on Boardwalk first. Found a game. Next store the downtown book store. We needed 2 books. Found them and then proceeded to argue with store clerk on how we were going to pay using our $200.00 gift cards. The problem was more the fact that they were ran like credit cards. So the owner of the card had to keep a running tally of amount left over. We had 4 $50.00 cards. The game drained most of one card so trying to use that with another fresh $50.00 card created the worse economic scandal this book store had ever seen. 10 minutes of math and we proceeded to our next destination... Macy's!

We had T's dad and mom left as well as my mom. Quick and easy... three people and a giant department store to make the wonders that much easier. We found her dad's gift in minutes. Our mothers on the other hand... turned into a nightmare. My mom wanted a Teapot. Of course the only colors they had there were the 70's pastels. WTF is wrong with people now a days!!! Let the 70's die. Okay... so no dice for my mom. T couldn't think of anything else for her mother as well so we decided to buy the gift for her dad and then press on to another store. We got in the check out line. We were number 2 in the check out line. We waited 10 minutes at number 2 before I decided to leave T in the line to make sure the next store we were going to had what we wanted. "T, give me a call when you are done and I'll let you know where I am," I said. So I left Macy's and headed to the nearest crosswalk.

I'm not an artist but this rendition depicts exactly what happened. The crosswalk light says, "Okay Batman... time for you to cross." I stepped into the walk and proceed to almost get hit by, not 1 or 2, but 3 ass-master drivers. Green, Yellow, and Purple... I screamed at them, hit their cars as they nearly ran over my face, and almost had to dive to make it safely to the other side of the street. There is something about downtowns across the United States. People just lose their damn minds. "Oooooooh I'm downtown now... Brain off!"

I was shaken, but still pressed on with my mission. I arrived at the next store at 6:05 pm only to find out that they had closed at 6:00 pm. So let me get this straight: I basically just risked my life 3 times in order to make it to a destination that had closed while I was playing a live version of frogger. Well that's just awesome! Guess what? T hadn't called yet which meant she was still inside at Macy's. This time I timidly walked back across the crosswalk and headed back inside Macy's. To my shock... T was still 2nd in line.

(I'll update the rest of the story later. My fingers are bleeding.)

No Jokes Here!

2008-12-17T10:04:00.003-07:00

My wife and I have been in the process of trying to conceive for a while now. (Close to a year and a half by my recollection.) At first, I did the only thing possible: I shantied up to the bar and did my husbandly deeds. With most bedroom sports if at first you don't succeed then... TRY-TRY-TRY!!! To both our credit we truly did win Olympic medals here, but to no avail with our true mission at hand.

So now? Well visit my wife's blog: To-a-T. There you will be able to discuss the nuances of conception, my sex life, and whether or not my wife is Oin', BDin', AFin', BBTin', BFPin', etc.
Perhaps in the future we will post movies and provide popcorn & candy.

T's Love List 2008! Dog > Me

2008-12-08T08:56:00.019-07:00

There's a pecking order of the recipients of my wife's affection and love. Though usually there is a merit system of some degree... she bases everything off of ???? You know, I have no clue how she is able to rightly place the objects of her desire. At times I think it's a hair count or the right kind of sparkle and fade, others it's a $ value or a variable weighted dimension. Whatever... here's this years list.

MY WIFE'S LOVE LIST OF 2008!

The Winner <-Click here

2nd Place

3rd Place: Kino our dog!

4th Place Vacation

5th Place: Bling!

6th Place Land Rover

7th Place Me

Last Place: The Hair Straightener

So as you can see... above the Hair Straightener and below the puppy is yours truly. I take no offense. It's just finally nice to know where I am in the line. Now if I could only figure out how the criteria was put together.

Love you T!

Pace Change

2008-12-03T12:53:00.005-07:00

Here's a little smile...

Sad

2008-10-30T16:47:00.005-06:00

Most of the time I think I've got a pretty good handle on life. Sure, it has it's ups and downs, but what doesn't? So here I am, trucking along and feeling pretty good. Physical - check. Emotional - check. Relational - check. Everything's perfect, right? So why the despair? Maybe I just suck? (Get ready for random.) I think I'm a decent husband... well I try to be. I help around the house (cleaning, cooking when my wife doesn't mind burnt food, taking care of the dishes, etc.)... I have a plan for the future (debt free, new house, etc.)... But for some reason lately I've been hit with a ton of bricks that weighs so heavily on me that I can breathe.

I'm not sure what's going on right now. (As you can see this rambling is derived from something. It almost seems like I'm blubbering about nothing and everything all in the same sentence. Hang with me... I'm sure something will present itself and come to fruition.)

I know that in the last week and a half I've missed my son more than I ever have. Maybe that's it. Maybe those ton of bricks are me trying to deal with my wife trying to get pregnant again. I say my wife versus "us" because I'm scared out of mind with the possibility of going through what we did when we lost Gabriel. Maybe I'm depressed... I do know I've felt useless lately. Like the direction I was heading seems to have lost its finish line. Here's the rambling again...

Damnit... I want my son back. I've never heard myself say that out loud. I want to be a daddy. I guess I try and figure things and plan things so in depth so that I don't have to experience them first hand. You know... over analyzing and planning instead of just allowing things to happen and enjoying the adventure along the way. With lists and maps it makes things easier. I think it might be time to burn the paper up and just keep walking, finish line or not, and see where it takes me.

I don't think anything here is about me being a good husband or not. I'm sure this has nothing to do with my stressful job, military, or my pitiful laziness that seems to be sneaking up on me again. Truly... I think I miss my son and I want to have a healthy one. There I feel a bit better... stupid tears.

"Sometimes I miss my son
I wish he wasn't dead.

I'd see him in the morning
with my hat on his head.

I'd hold him at night
till it was all okay
And I'd promise him- he'd never have to go away

We'd walk through the park
and play with the dogs.

Pass a little catch
and hit some balls.

We never had the chance
everything is such a mess.
Wait... I hear his voice and I--
think he says

Daddy I'm in heaven... it's all okay.
Daddy I'm in heaven... it's all okay.
Daddy I'm in heaven..."

-8/2/2004 (Music: Track 2 Modest Mouse, The World at Large: Written after I lost my son.)

Dedicated to Gabriel Jacob Walker... my son-who now watches over me.

A Wonderful Weekend...

2008-10-26T19:36:00.005-06:00

Hoooooooooooooooray!!! As you can see I won't be posting on another book that is going to "CHANGE YOUR LIFE!" I need to give you a few weeks to finish reading the previous two. (On a side note... if you have any questions concerning anything covered within the books, please shoot me a message or an e-mail. I'm more than willing to help in anyway that I can.) Okay and back to reality.

This weekend: Fun - Entertaining - Heartwarming - and a little Rompin' in the Hay Bails. Ha! Friday we watched our favorite college football team take it to the moon. BCS Busters... all I can say is that Boise State is putting Idaho on the map for more than just potatoes. Saturday: winter-fied the yard and house. Trim'd the hedges, mowed the lawn, raked the leaves, power washed the house, blew the sprinklers out, and sprayed for spiders! My sciatica is back in full bloom. (Insert explitives here.) Then we went on our annual October Date. Had a great time! Sunday: cleaned the house, hung out with my parents and grandma, paid the bills, and now am getting ready for some more hay rompin'. *cough*

I must say though... once you figure out how amazing your spouse is... there is nothing better in the world than being with him/her and enjoying simplistic weekends. I'm going to rate this one in the top ten. Thanks T... I love you.

Life Changing... (Nutritional Health)

2008-10-16T07:31:00.011-06:00

I've never been one to preach on diet and health. All of my nutritional wisdom has been based upon my grade school education and the magical pyramid. I never really had to worry about what type of food I put into my mouth. I was an active child/teen: three sports, bmx bikes, and the neighborhood cops and robbers kept me at a constant pace of recommended exercise and adventure. It was not until post college years that my so called metabolism failed me and I actually had to start to be conscious of that which I engorged myself. It wasn't until 5 weeks ago that I was diagnosed with hypertension that I truly began to question "mother-culture" and try and take a more active role in discerning what I ate in affects to my health.

My doctor said I needed to lose some weight and eat more "healthy" foods. I had two months to make the necessary changes or I would be forced to be put on blood pressure meds. I was distraught and vented my disappointment of my current state with my good friend Dr. Pevil (a man who questions the conventional wisdom of medicine and yet is a doctor nonetheless). He asked what my plan was. I told him this and explained that most of my "so-called" issues were due to horrible genetics. Both of my grandfathers, uncles, and aunt had died of hearth disease, stroke, etc. all related to hypertension. He asked if I was willing to be open minded and read a book. My response, "Heaven help me! The last time I read a book my entire financial state turned upside down and shook everything I knew to its core. I'm not going to conform to some kind of crazy-ass diet." Like I said before... I'm a skeptic, but told him I'd read it just for shits and giggles.

The book told a simple tale on how the conventional diet (see the magical pyramid above) effects the human body. At first I merely coughed at the results and findings... but by the end I had wrapped my mind around the simplistic truth that our current nutritional diet is killing us. At least 4 decades of study went in to writing this book. I spent time analyzing the research on the web, in the library, and talking with doctors that I see on a day to day basis. (I work for a hospital.) And just like the previous book, it had taken my core understanding and shattered everything I knew to be truth.

A whole foods - plant based diet was the profound results of health. A simple change in routine could save me from:

Hypertension
Stroke
Heart Disease
Cancer
Alzheimers
Diabetes
Obesity
Auto-immune Diseases
Etc.

What? That's crazy... is it? Look at America today... 2 out of 3 people are overweight (1 out of 3 are obese). Heart Disease is like catching the common cold and we are more concerned about reactive medicine than prevention. I know I'm preaching, but check this out. My blood pressure? Normal... my weight? I've lost 14 pounds so far and I eat more calories now than I ever have. What's help me change my life? Another damn book. The China Study... if you could stop yourself today from getting breast cancer or having a heart attack... from the debilitating effects of alzheimers or diabetes... wouldn't it be a good thing? Want to take a proactive stance on your health? Just read it... anything at this point could be a step in the right direction.

Life Changing... (Living Debt Free)

2008-10-12T10:50:00.003-06:00

I don't want this to seem like a bunch of plugs for books that have impacted my life (though that might be exactly what I'm doing). I am not getting paid by the authors, publishing companies, or distributors... these books truly have changed everything that I have known and based my life upon. Let me explain...

First off... I found out about Dave Ramsey through my economics professor. I was merely venting one day on the amount of debt I had accumulated and how I had planned on paying it off for the next 20-30 years. He smiled and asked if I wanted to do it in 3 to 5. HA! "A sarcastic bastard to core," I thought. I had to ask and the answer to "how" was this book.

I'm a skeptic. The only book I would ever admit to being something of a "life changer" has collected dust for the last 8 years on my bookshelf. So to think that reading a book about debt and freedom from those chains was a bit of a stretch. Who am I kidding there was no way in hell. Alas... I was wrong.

Basically... the author speaks common sense and lists the plan as follows:

Make a budget (Know where your money is going so that it works for you vs. you for it)
Put away an emergency fund ($1000.00 in order to stop utilizing the credit card)
Snowball your debt (Lowest to highest debt payoff... that way once you pay off the lowest amount first you are able to apply that same amount to the next debt in line... accruing more money as you snowball your way to freedom)
Grow your emergency fund = built of 3 to 6 months of income (Saving yourself from a financial crisis if you were to lose your job, etc.)
Pay off your house
Save for retirement
Etc.

Seems simple enough right? Well, T and I started this "common sense" program three months ago and we've already saved the $1000.00, paid off the money we owed my parents, and have gotten out of all our credit card debt! This month we are putting close to $ 1800.00 toward our first vehicle loan. OMG! I'm telling you it works. The book never asks for money, makes you invest in some kind of scam or scheme, or instructs you to eat straw as a vagabond would to exist without the necessities of life. It just helps structure common sense back into your financial life - pushing you to go against the culture you currently reside in and know to be true.

This was our first major change. T and I used to sit down and argue about money for hours on end... now that our financial situation has become stable and we are cruising out of debt... the only thing we can argue about is whose turn it is to pick up the dog poop.

Like I said... I'm a skeptic and never thought a book could do anything for me other than entertain or be used as a coffee coaster. This book changed my life and has helped my marriage more than any self help book ever could. If you're struggling right now... put aside a few bucks. Read the book... you never know those 20-30 years could be shortened down to 3-5 by following simple instruction over just 223 pages.

New Beginnings

2008-10-11T07:52:00.000-06:00

I can't say that I know what I'm doing here. I guess this might be another example of a classic mixed with a current day love of mine. Regardless, you've come to read about adventure and chivalry... I must say that you might get a little bit of everything and nothing all rolled up to create a masterpiece called my life. Thanks for coming.

For my inaugural soul dump, I'd like to explain the links LIFE CHANGING... of on the right side of the page along with how I've been turned upside down - inside out- and backasswards all in a matter of 3 diminutive months.

(More to follow...)